How to Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don’t just happen. I have discovered, in the 35 years that I have been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.

For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one’s partner for one’s own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly – with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change – you can only change yourself.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We have all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, care taking  resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment – of losing the other - and the fear of engulfment – of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually – by learning instead of controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together – to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy flows between two people when there is an “attitude of gratitude.” Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that “work without play makes Jack a dull boy.” Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.

SERVICE

A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship.

Connect with Partner

We all know that approaching woman isn't easy. It can be  embarrassing and downright difficult. But, if you know what you are doing and have faith in your own forces you can get the one you like.

Impressing a woman is not an easy task, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with females. There are many components that go into impressing a woman. 

If you want to learn how to impress a girl, then you should do your best to be positive. Keep in mind that smiles and jokes are great bonding mechanisms that you can use to impress a girl. 

There is a charm and seductive attraction that some guys have, so they have all the girls they want. This  magnet is called charisma, and it is very important if you want to attract the woman of your life. But, if this is a problem for you, you must try some tricks to pick-up the woman you want.

For example, use your dog to pick-up girls. You have a dog? Now its your chance. Take a walk with your dog on the place where you know your special one passes by every day. Any girl likes dogs. Small ones are very cute and the big ones make you look hot.

So, if you are with your dog out and suddenly your girl pass over. Make sure that she sees you. If it happens that your dog had a bad behavior and starts barking at her you might apologize and tell her to not take it personally. So, you can discus with her. Show her that your dog know some tricks  and while your dog is sitting and rolling over you' re getting to know the girl.

Babies. Every woman love babies.  Your friend is married and has a baby? Join your friend when he goes out with the baby and show interest by playing with the kid when she passes by you. Next day you can offer to watch out the baby for your friend and take him to a walk to show her you like kids. But make sure she has saw you in the day before with your friend to not think that the baby is yours. If the baby is crying when she passes by you, you might be lucky and she might offer her help to make the baby stop crying. So, you get to talk with her and may ask her for a date.

Use some magic tricks to attract her. You are seeing her every day and you don't have the courage to talk to her. First of all, relax. One of the biggest turnoffs for women is a guy who’s uptight. Just relax and you’ll be fine. After you start talking with her use some magic tricks to impress her and attract her. You may say that you are good at magic and you are offering to guess her future by reading her hand. She'll definitely laugh but if she's OK with this you may tell her that she will have a glorious future.

Don't forget to make her laugh. Laughter is all you need to attract  women easily and quickly. If you are able to make her laugh any time and any places it will be easier to you to get the woman you are  looking after for some long time.

How to Know He or She is Really Interested in You

Someone has caught your eye and you would like to get to know them better, but you're not sure if they even know you exist, let alone if they would like to spend more time with you.  How can you get a feeling for their interest.  Here are 5 suggestions:

1.  Go somewhere with a group of mutual friends and pay attention to how the person you are interested in responds to what you do and say.  Do they stick by your side most of the evening?  Do they listen intently to everything you say?  Is there frequent eye contact between the two of you?  All of these could indicate a higher level of interest than just being "one of the gang." 

2.  If you are planning to go with a group of your friends to something such as a Museum or Zoo outing, ask the person you are interested in if they would like to come with the group, but not necessarily just as your date.  If they are eager to come and your interactions while out with this group are positive, it could indicate that there is a possibility that a more personal date with you might be welcome.

3.  If things seem to be going well in a group environment, and you feel positive about this person's feelings for you, ask him or her if they would be interested in going out to get something to eat after the group excursion is over.  Or maybe just a cup of coffee - something non-threatening.  If they accept, that's great!  If not, maybe their reason at the moment is justified.  Maybe they would be happy to have dinner with you another time.  You should be able to tell by their attitude.  In any event, it's a less threatening way to ask someone out after being together in a group environment than just a "cold call" kind of approach.

4.  Are the two of you college classmates, or peers at the same company?  Ask him or her for help with something you are doing.  Be sincere and make sure the person you are asking has the knowledge or experience to help you with your request.  You will be able to tell by their reaction if they are interested in helping you because they are interested in YOU, or just because they're a nice person and want to be helpful. 

5.  A non-threatening way to give someone a gift is to support a local fundraiser, either through your College or workplace.  This is especially nice around the romantic holidays, such as Valentine's Day.  You will show them that you thought of them and that you support the fundraising program, two points in your favor.

One thing to keep in mind is that anyone you might be attracted to, if they are worth your time, should be flattered if you let them know that you are "interested" in them.  So, don't be shy about expressing your interest.  If they are the type of person you think they are, they will let you know in a kind way whether they reciprocate your feelings or not.  

You can find your perfect partner at Free Online Dating & Relationship.

How to Overcome the Stress and Nerves with the First Date

The first date is very difficult for every one, because cannot image n that what should be the happened. Be prepared and turn this experience into a fun and relaxing event. In this article I will share with you ideas that will give you a litter more easy with dating and coping with the anxiety on the first date.

First, there are few questions we must address and bring out into the open. 

How much should we get to know the potential date before meeting.

What discussion or prefacing is required with your prospective date prior to the meeting.

How does this potential date feel about you, or does this person also share in this anxiety.

After the meeting is established where will you meet to insure safety, enjoyment and relaxation.

Lets start with first question this begs of the actual legitimacy of the potential date. In this person really genuine. What is this person background. These questions are not easy to answer, but we can start with the following. The method of communication is incredibly important. Phone communication although a little never racking, can break the ice and establish an initial understand of who this person is. Try to avoid creating a mental image of this person as this can really increase expectations and also give the other person an unfair disadvantage. The phone conversation can also shed light on this person's general character.

This leads to what discussions or prefacing is required. It is important to acknowledge that this place we live is very diverse and the person's character is one of the most important attributes of desirability. Be softly direct when inquiring about his or her background without invoking the feeling that you are drilling the person which is real "turn-off". I have used this idea many times which turn's out to be a really enjoyable exercise. Write down a few background questions to ask prior to calling the potential date and go from there. The conversation can take on with its own energy from there and it will be very easy to get a good feeling fro the person. That is to say, if the person is not forthright, it will most likely come through in the conversation.

In most cases, the other person will exhibit the same anxiety as you. Keep this in mind, as it will help your nerves a little. Being confident, honest, direct and respectful will help you and the date feel an increased level of comfort whether your on the phone, or on the first date.

On this first date, make sure that you select, or mutually agree to a place that will help the date flourished but keep the other person wanting more. Obviously, you should select a meeting place that is well lit and where there will be many eyes watching you for increased safety. However, the place that you will spend the most time should be softly lit so that most of the concentration can be focused on the content of the conversation and less on physical characteristics. More importantly, span the first date no more than that of a small snack. You can consider this a "weed-out" session. If there is chemistry during the date, her or she will leave waiting more. Conversely, if there is no chemistry, not much time was lost and not much money was spent.

Remember, these important ideas to engender ease and confidence during the initial contact through Free Online Dating Services. Choose a method of communication prior to the meeting that will help you determine the persons forthrightness. Understand that the other person is probably feeling the same level of anxiety to which you can offer the comfort. Finally, choose a place that demonstrates safety and allows for a short but memorable experience.

    

The Advantages to Online Dating at www.datingcraving.com

The quick foray into a bar or in a night club can reveal some of the major shortcomings of looking for the romance in such types of places.  The combination of booming bass and shrieking laughter bombards you aurally, whereas a potent mix of cigarette smoke and spilt beer assails your olfactory senses.  Finally, amidst the human disorder of the locale, a figure from the parallel side of the room pique your interest.  You fight your way through the mass in the general direction of him / her and suddenly find your goodself shattering in their ear because of the afore-mentioned noisy environs.  The best case finds you exchanging hastily scrawled phone numbers with the other person or following them out the gate, while the worst case finds you feeling rejected and sad.  Even the “middle” options are less than pleasing; frequently, the person that attracted you physically does not do the same spiritually or psychologically, and you’re stuck at an stalemate with a least amount of things to talk about.

The actual truth is that online dating in the established sense and settings is a definitely random affair, and a largely unfriendly one at that.  You would find yourself drawn to another person not because of their understanding or their behavior but rather because they are physically eye-catching.  As anybody who has lived and loved can attest, noteworthy affairs are not built exclusively on the basis of physical attraction.  You don’t know the person at the other end of the bar from a outsider, however, and thus you have no thought if their loveliness is in fact skin yawning.  In addition, even a signal that there is impressive else under the outside is hardly cause for entertainment; given the hesitation of the other party’s record, there is no telling what kind of belongings you might be parting with.

Free dating online offers solutions to these troubles in many cases.  For one thing, instigating loving contact online clearly increases in your goodwill the chances that the other party is engrossed.  Think about it:  How many times have you searched online classified ads without the barest suggestion of purpose or need?  Having a interested colleague is half of the combat in itself.  Ahead of that, online dating increases the probability of finding something beyond the first desirability to maintain extended interest.  That’s not to say that corporeal desirability plays no role in free online dating; pictures are often linked with online personals, and as in life the most prevailing impulses are often the instinctive ones.  However, the pace of online dating allows you to find out a small piece more about the other party than you would be able to in a special situation.  By the time you read their individual ad and their text and (possibly) exchange messages with them once or twofold, you will almost certainly have a decent idea as to whether the other person is the kind that you would like to carry on contact with.  If no, it is an easy issue to finish contact since neither party is closely concerned.  If yes, however, the base for a winning association has already been laid by statement.

It is enough  to say, online dating today has lost its “outlawed” rank.  Relatively, it represents a feasible option to those singles who are dead beat of frequently finding the wrong person in the incorrect surroundings.

The author of this article is also having many dating websites which are free to join for everyone, one of which is a totally Free Online Dating & Relationship Site and numerous people are becoming members daily

How to Create Successful Online Dating Profile

Online Dating has achieved such levels of popularity that it is now become more appropriate than it used to. Basically due to the several experiences about the successful relationships that started off as an online partnership, peoples are moving to this alternative way of searching for a partner. Whether you are new one or have bee online for a years, one main point for successful online dating is profile. In your profile shows your summed up in on page on the internet.

The first way to create the show up profile is to come up with a catchy profile headline and display name. This is usually what people see first. So put you all information about yourselves for attention grabber. Don't copy the statement of other, put the information real one. Because this one began have long lasting relationship. If you show something of the real you, then there is no need to make believe at any point in the relationship. Before writing headline, think long and hard about how you present yourself and how your friends see you. Remember that what they are say about your qualities. Select to once you agree with, then write down in your profile.Do not walk on and on.Decide what you want to say and say it. Finally, be clean and positive. Emanate a energetic impression and you will attract people to your profile. As for your screen name, the same thing applies. Be positive and unique. It may take you a little while to come up with something but it will be value your effort

Your profile have a photo or not. Some people not agree to show the picture on the net, the relation is that, it should not matter what i look like, other people should like me for who i am. That is well and good. However the online dating website confirm to the fact that people who include a gratifying photo in their profile get response 10 times more then those who do not. if you want get more response then you have picture from your pleasing angle in your profile.

In your profile mention your unique qualities about your personality, which make you difference to the other and easy understand with you for long lasting relationship. Should detail your character just to the point of avoiding ambiguity. A litter caution should be exercise here. It is good sing for you to give some personal information abstain from being too personal. It is not good for your relation that you share the problems and issues dealing nowadays.

Your profile has show that your expectations clear. Share your thinking about the relationship. This is very essential for your long last relation. Mention what the other person can expect from you as well. Discuss about your hobbies and thinking that your like to do with your partner. This way, the unsuitable persons will not waste time.

Profile writing process keep in mind two thing  Honesty and Originality. These will get to began long lasting relationship.

Make your profile in Free Online Dating & Relationship website which lost of people waiting for you.

Tips for Successful Dating

Every man and women wanted to build confidence for his own way to become the long lasting relationship with each other, therefore keep in mind following points when meet with his partner for his success.

• Planning                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

                               Planning is key factor for successful dating, time and date is advance fixed , keep in mind your expectation and thoughts.The atmosphere of the place is friendly where sharing the feeling and thoughts without no fear and hesitation.

• Correctness

                           You have confirm that you picked out and select has some important to what his person might actually enjoy. Doing something unique and different to enjoy both for long lasting build the relationship.

•  Understanding

                        If you decide the date on night, you must know that no one any thing happen late night. The more solutions you have prepared in advance, the less worried your date will be. This clearly shows your thinking.

• Regard 

                     Every one have own self respect, keep in mind that no any thing happen to destroy the respect. He and She really looks great and you have more impressed as the evening goes along. However don's push physical attraction too early. You could be making serious mistake if you try to push her or him.

• Attention     

                  Pay the attention is very key factor of dating and relationship in any stage of the life. During the meeting to watching and listening every talk for both the side in a good effect for the long life relationship, show her or him you know  them better at the end of the date, than you did at the beginning.

• Having Softness 

               Topic of the discussing is about have the same thinking . Choose something eye-catching to your date, i.e  go to waterpark if she or he prefers water, or an outside stone show if they like artists. Perhaps, see a loving humorous or take a increase. Whatever you are doing , don't sit and discuss you goals and objects, struggling children etc. These are discussion  subjects which will come later if the relationship moves along. 

• Relation

             During the discussion the topic is same thinking. Pay attention and understanding  a little about each other peoples child years and previous. If your principles and the life perspective are equal. This is an excellent interval.

• Predict

             You should always look your best. An easy embrace at the end of the date that guarantees more, some day is hotter than a lip scrunching enthusiastic hug that excitement your date and probably places his or her off.

• Laugh 

            laughter is connection, infected and attractive. If your going to the films, make sure the film's funny, if going to a entertaining team, know the cartoon strips are funny, or go curler skate boarding and laugh at yourselves. Fun is a fantastic launch for any worry.

The author of this article is also having dating websites which is Free Online Dating & Relationship  are free to join for everyone,is totally free website and many people are enjoying the relationship.

How To Be Successfull Dating Partner

Online Dating is becoming more & more popular now-a-days and as per new research 8 out of 10 relationship are being made through the internet dating sites, some of which are paid and the other are free of cost.

If you would like to have a good dating partner online, then you first have to search out which dating site is the best where you can create your profile and with matching options for a specific territory of worldwide.

Search for free online dating site like Free Online Dating & Relationship or others, one which you like to be fit for your purpose. Then create you profile wherein you must put your pictures as well if you have videos, post them also. In this way your profile attract more & more people towards you and you can sort out the people to whom you would like to make relationships.

Three are numerous websites online free or paid, in paid sites there are some other facilities which the webmaster can provide you, however free online dating sites also having the same properties but you must choose that one which will attract you and you consider to be good for yourself.

Online dating personals sites are being created keeping in view the interest of the people, which is going more popular, so if you like, any website like new one are would be good for you and new sites owners are giving more benefits for the new users free of cost.

Become a free dating website member today and enjoy the free online dating experience.

The author of this article is also having many dating websites which are free to join for everyone, one of which is Free Online Dating & Relationship Website  which is totally free website and many people are becoming members daily.